his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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