I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
