Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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