just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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