People in love make me want to vomit
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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