I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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