My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
