He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
