Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize