you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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