Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
