no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
