nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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