they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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