ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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