My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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