he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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