I wish i was in the wii world.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
