so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
