CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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