oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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