Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
