I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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