why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just cropdusted the office
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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