what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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