You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Buhtt sex?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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