I'm really into asian looking animals
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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