your room smells of hookers.
And success
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
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dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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