I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
