Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
