I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you would pick up someone in the library
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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