Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
