this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
