True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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