god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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