Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
