At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
