his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
