dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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