We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
