you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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