I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
