We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
