The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
