i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
