I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor