you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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