Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
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Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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