Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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