The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
ttyl tear gas
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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