His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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