so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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