I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
