I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize