omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
