So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
