I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
