At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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