You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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