Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
