omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
