i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
