should my penis look like a turkey
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
