He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she peed on how many people?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
