I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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