There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
