I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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